Trent Reznor, front-man of Nine Inch Nails, has influenced my life through his music. I can remember back to the first time I heard “We’re In This Together” via Skuzz music channel. At the time, I didn’t know what I was listening to, and only caught the very end of the video. A year later a friend of mine introduced me to Nine Inch Nails. They were vastly different from the mainstream music I listened to at the time, and really helped to change my ideas about what music is for. Since listening to them, I have been introduced to so much, but Nine Inch Nails will stand alongside bands like Linkin Park, bands that really helped shape me as a person. One month ago, I scouted YouTube in a regular fashion, and came across a screenshot of the silhouettes of people jumping from a small height. I checked out the video, and sure enough it was the song I had heard all that time ago. It amazed me that I had finally found that video, after so much searching, it came up when I least expected it to.
This goes out to Trent Reznor, Chester Bennington, and Mike Patton. Not just them, but the other artists who have shaped me, and goes out to Jessica May Buckle, Paige Christina Ramirez, and Lydia Grace Wagster. Friends like Daniel Wales, without who I wouldn’t know half of the artists I know, and most importantly it goes out to you reading this, in the hope that you agree with what I’m saying, or that you already shared the experience of simply falling in love with music.
The song above is 03 Ghosts 1 by Nine Inch Nails, from their freely distributed album, Ghosts 1. This song makes me think of riding a horse through the desert, the heat rippling the distant air. This album reminds me of the sun, and of being alone, but not being lonely. Just at peace with myself, not needed the attention of everyone around me that I crave so much. The sun is the greatest high any English person could hope to enjoy.
Me and someone I don’t see are following a man who as of yet I haven’t seen. We have to climb over small walls, and crawl under places. We are kept separated by the fact that we are racing, and so we each care more about being in front than seeing each other. We eventually come to a wall with a slit in it that veers into one path. As I go to crawl through it, I see this other person’s legs and feet disappear through the other side of this small gap and run ahead. I crawl through and see that it is a female, of about 5’2” to 5’5”. She has sort red hair, and she is running towards a man in his late thirties dressed in a strange attire. He is wearing clothes that look rough, yet at the same time do not, as if the ‘look’ was on purpose.
The man begins to run ahead once he sees we are through, as if he was ensuring our safety. He keeps on running through an obstacle course like maze, until we he turns a corner that causes us to be coming back the way we came, though down a path that was next to us, behind a wall. We start to run this next part of the obstacle course, until we reach a point where we must climb onto a wall and crawl along. We then hear the man’s voice say, “Be careful on the next bit” and I ask “What for?” for his answer to be “Keep your head up.” We hear these words, but we do not see him. We continue to crawl along this platform. The girl disappears from my concentration, until I reach a part of the platform where it drops down between 6” and a foot, with a slop that extends about 10’ outwards. The slope is very slippery, and I do as the man’s voice said and keep my head up, which keeps me from harm when the slope stops. I can then comfortably get down from this platform, at which point this girl and me begin to wonder where this man has gone.
We continue to walk this course, though we are more concerned with finding this man than the race at this point. We keep looking until there is a gap in the wall between this path and the path we were on previous. We walk through it and begin to walk down a path next to the obstacle course we were on at the beginning of this dream. There is another gap in the fence on the far side but we do not see this until the man comes out from this gap. His hair is now very greasy, he is wearing a boiler suit on his bottom half, but the top half has been rolled up around his waste, so he is not wearing it on his top half. He now also carries a tin of grease, which he keeps dipping his fingers in and flicking at this girl. He then begins to flick it at me, and we laugh in jest as this happens. He then begins to run off, and we follow him running. He enters a door and we follow. Me first, and then this girl. Through this door is a set of stairs, which we follow downwards. This leads us into a room with many doors, and the stairway continues down. This man is now attempting to tie his hair back with a bobble whilst still running down the stairs. He is attempting to tell me something, but as he has this bobble in his mouth I cannot understand him. The next room we enter from these stairs is similar to the last. Inside it is painted a dark red, and the lights are not very efficient. He walks through a door still murmuring, but he seems to be getting frustrated. This leads us into a room; again, similar to the one we were just in. He begins to walk through a door and nods towards the stairs, and I finally understand what he is trying to tell me, so I begin to jump down the stairs, holding onto the banister. After about three or four flights of stairs I can see they end onto a room. As I am jumping down this last flight I hear a voice shout out to me from upstairs. Her voice is a mix between Tinara’s and Tessa’s, like they are both calling out to me, yet at the same time.
This is the asterisk I will refer to, later in the story *
She runs down the stairs in a very ‘girlie’ fashion. I hide in a room, next to the wall the door is on; ready to jump out and scare her when she walks up to the room. As she draws closer, I can hear her getting more and more scared, as am I. She walks towards the door, and I scare her as I planned to do. The girl turns out to be Tinara, complete with different hair colour; length and generally looking nothing like the girl beforehand. I then invite her to hug me, and I realise I am in a male restroom. She refuses to hug me by stating “I’m not allowed in there.” I tell her she is allowed to, as long as she is hugging me. She goes to hug me, and as she does, I tip her onto one of my arms and we kiss passionately. (Ooh. Plot line and on running story!) I then slide my hand up her top and, well, this isn’t pornography.
The entire dream cuts back to the asterisk. I am unaware of what has happened since then, and we are once again separated with this ‘mystery girl’ yet to decide where she will go. I will continue as if this was not a separate paragraph.
She then runs into the room that this man walked into. I then hear nothing and begin to walk up the stairs. Oh so many stairs! I break out into a run. Stair after stair. They never end. The room draws closer. The dream then becomes strange and begins to go slightly stop motion. The room draws closer. The dream becomes normal again. I attempt to open the door to the room, but it is locked. It is cold like steel. I cannot open the door. I try to break it down. I begin to hear Tessa screaming. I keep trying but I cannot open the door. Louder she screams until she is crying. Crying for help. Crying for me. Crying for me to help her. I can’t help her, no matter how hard I try, until suddenly the door opens. All I see is Tessa crying in the corner whilst this man in the boiler suit, now in a full boiler suit, leers over me. He is wearing a clown mask, or is that his head? I cannot tell. I am too scared, shocked and horrified.
The dream once again cuts back to the asterisk. The feeling of fear has died down and dissipated.
I call out for her, and she begins to run down the stairs in a ‘girlie’ fashion. She runs down into my arms and we cuddle. It is Tinara. We hug until an explosion or an earthquake happens above. We run up the stairs, hand in hand until we reach the third flight, where the stairs are blocked off by rubble from the incident previous. I look towards one of the doors, and a cold fear strikes me. I don’t know why there is a fear coming from the room, it’s as if something terrible happened there. The door opens, and there is only darkness, parting a man in an orange boiler suit with the head of a clown wielding a meat cleaver. It laughs maniacally and begins to walk towards us. We move out of its way and begin to run downstairs again to the bottom floor, this clown figure chasing us. I recognise one of the doors somehow, as if I have been there before. We run through the door into a male restroom. The clown follows us, and sees us in this room. He walks up to the doorway, but does not enter. It is as if he is forbidden to enter the room.